


Performance Anxiety

by fembuck



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2013-05-28
Packaged: 2017-12-13 06:21:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/821044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fembuck/pseuds/fembuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The situation with Dr. Leekie has resolved itself for the moment, and Delphine and Cosima have found their way back to each other.  But, while the things they said to each other have been forgiven, not all have been forgotten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Performance Anxiety

“Come in,” Cosima urged, taking hold of Delphine’s jacket with her hands.

She tugged on the material, pulling Delphine towards her into the apartment, and Delphine laughed lightly, walking with Cosima for a few steps, allowing the brunette to lead her through the doorway before she finally offered some resistance.

“It’s late,” Delphine breathed out, reaching up to take one of Cosima’s hands into her own so that she could lift it up to her lips and kiss it gently.

“I know,” Cosima whispered, smiling enticingly as she looked up at the blonde.  “Which is why you should come to bed,” she continued, tugging at Delphine again with the hand she still had gripping her jacket.

Delphine bit down on her bottom lip, her eyes scanning Cosima’s face searchingly as she allowed herself to be led the rest of the way into the apartment.

“You’re sure?” she asked when Cosima began to pull her jacket off of her.

“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t,” Cosima replied, pulling the jacket down Delphine’s arms until it slipped off of her.

Cosima tossed the jacket onto her desk and then turned a pair of keen brown eyes on Delphine.

“Are _you_ sure?” she asked, watching Delphine carefully.

“About what?” Delphine breathed, smiling a little nervously as Cosima slipped off her own jacket, her eyes never straying from Delphine as she removed it.

“Staying the night,” Cosima replied, stepping closer to Delphine.

She reached out and took one of Delphine’s hands into her own, halting her speech for a moment to watch her fingers as they trailed over the smooth, pale skin of Delphine’s hand.

“You haven’t,” Cosima continued a few moments later, looking back up at Delphine.  “Since all the madness ended … or at least ended for now,” she amended, rolling her eyes a little, knowing that her life and the lives of the others with her face were not likely to remain smooth for long.  They were special, and in the world they lived in, special often meant that you were fucked.  “Every night, you’ve run away.”

“I’ve not run,” Delphine sighed, her eyes fluttering shut for a moment as Cosima’s fingers continued to toy with her hand, the play of the dexterous digits over her flesh reminding her of what Cosima’s fingers felt like on other parts of her body, inside of her. 

“You’ve not stayed either,” Cosima replied. 

Delphine was too smooth, too French, too elegant to flee, stumbling over her own feet like teenage boy when the porch lights turned on, but she had left. 

“Do you not want to?” Cosima asked, struggling to keep the feeling of anxiety Delphine’s reticence was producing in her out of her voice. 

“Want to?” Delphine repeated slowly, blinking rapidly as she tried to focus her mind on Cosima’s words instead of on thoughts of where she longed for Cosima’s wandering fingers to explore.

“Have me,” Cosima clarified, using the hold she had on Delphine’s hand to direct it up to her chest.

Delphine breathed in sharply as Cosima placed her hand over her breast.

The response was encouraging.

“Touch me,” Cosima continued, her eyes closing momentarily when Delphine’s hand squeezed her breast, massaging it through her shirt and bra.

“I want that very much,” Delphine breathed out, her eyes hooding with desire even as a wave of anxiousness and anxiety began to rise inside of her.  “It’s just …”

She pulled her hand away from Cosima and stepped back, placing some space between them before she looked to the side awkwardly.

A frustrated, irritable sigh escaped from Cosima when Delphine pulled back, but she closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm down before she spoke, not wanting to say something that she would regret.

“What’s going on?” Cosima asked a few seconds later, opening her eyes and fixing them on Delphine.  “You’re sending out some powerfully mixed messages,” she continued, keeping her voice carefully modulated as she took a step towards Delphine. 

She placed her hand on Delphine’s hip and stepped into the blonde’s personal space.

“You kiss me like I’m oxygen and you’ll die without my lips on yours, but whenever it seems like clothes may no longer be required, you tense up.  You pull away,” Cosima breathed out, glancing up into Delphine’s eyes before she pressed her lips against the skin exposed by the ‘v’ of Delphine’s shirt.

Delphine breathed out shakily, and her hand reached out to clutch at Cosima and pull her tighter against her.  However, a few seconds later her eyes squeezed shut, and once again she tensed against Cosima and drew back.

“Delphine,” Cosima whispered, honest worry in her voice as she took in the pained expression on the blonde’s face.  “Baby, what’s wrong?” Cosima continued, genuinely bewildered as to what was making Delphine act the way she was acting.

When Delphine kissed her, there was heat.  There was passion, longing, desire.  And when Cosima touched her, Delphine trembled and bent into her touch like a flower reaching for the sun. 

Delphine wanted her.  She was sure of it.  At times Delphine’s desire had been so strong that Cosima felt as if she could reach out and touch it, as if she could taste it in the air.  But still, Delphine resisted. 

She didn’t understand it.  Delphine wasn’t shy.  In the past, after that first disastrous kiss but before their period of estrangement, Delphine had initiated most of the intimate contact between them, which made her reticence now that they were together again and free to touch so confusing.

“I’m sorry,” Delphine breathed out, smiling self-consciously before she lowered her gaze and dipped her head down, hiding her face from Cosima.  “I …” she paused and shook her head as she continued to contemplate her feet.  “I don’t want to say it.  It’s embarrassing,” she continued, glancing up at Cosima briefly before she looked down again.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed about anything.  Not with me,” Cosima said softly, gently, closing the distance between them once more.  “It’s okay,” she continued softly, “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Delphine looked up at that.  Her eyes searched Cosima’s face for a moment and then she smiled as she reached out to brush her thumb tenderly across Cosima’s cheek.

“You’re sweet,” Delphine murmured, still smiling though a touch of sadness had entered her eyes.

“Thank you,” Cosima replied softly, reaching up to cover Delphine’s hand with her own.  “Why does that make you sad?”

“It doesn’t,” Delphine breathed, smiling again, though her eyes skittered away from Cosima’s, and she bit down on her bottom lip nervously. “I love that about you,” she continued.  “I … I’m just nervous,” she whispered, the words barely audible as she looked back over at Cosima.  “Performance anxiety,” she stated, offering Cosima a self-conscious little smile.

Cosima’s brows creased together, Delphine’s words confusing her for a moment before understanding dawned on her.

“Oh god,” Cosima breathed out, dragging Delphine’s hand up to her lips so that she could kiss it apologetically.  “I was just being a bitch,” Cosima said, looking up into Delphine’s eyes.  “That day,” she continued, glancing towards her bedroom.  “What I said, I didn’t mean it.  I was just …” she sighed, and dropped her eyes, too ashamed to continue while looking into Delphine’s eyes.  “I was trying to hurt you.  I was upset and confused and scared, and I just … I’m so sorry,” she finished apologetically, looking up at Delphine contritely.

“I understand,” Delphine breathed out, stroking the back of Cosmia’s hand with her thumb.  “I hurt you … deeply.  Something I will forever regret,” she continued.

Cosima nodded, and murmured, “I know,” as she squeezed Delphine’s hand.

“So,” Delphine began tentatively, “I did not … underwhelm you, before?  When we …?” she glanced towards the bedroom, her eyes focusing Cosima’s bed.

“Far from it,” Cosima breathed out.  “You,” her words were interrupted as a large smile helplessly spread across her lips.  “You were wonderful,” she breathed out, embarrassed by her smile but unable to wipe her from her lips.  “I was … _completely_ satisfied,” she murmured, toying with Delphine’s long fingers as she spoke, becoming a little breathless as she remembered how they had felt gliding over her skin and moving inside of her.

A rush of air escaped from between Delphine’s lips and her body relaxed.

“Bien,” she breathed out. “Bien.  I want to please you,” she continued softly, her voice a little lower and rougher than it had been before as Cosima’s touches fanned the flames of her desire once again.  “I want to give you pleasure.  I …”

There were words on the tip of Delphine’s tongue, but Cosima had reassured her and awoken urges that her fear had kept dormant for far too long, and she did not want to speak anymore. 

“I want to give you pleasure,” Delphine repeated.

Cosima looked up at her, and the passion burning in Delphine’s eyes made her sex throb with desire.

Her lips parted as if to speak, but no sound came out.  The force of her arousal made her unable to do anything but stare up at Delphine longingly, begging the blonde with her eyes.

Delphine descended, lowering her head to capture Cosima’s lips in a deep, heated, penetrating kiss that soon had Cosima moaning into her mouth and clutching at her jeans.  She kissed Cosima again and again, unwilling, perhaps even unable to go without the taste of her lips.  She couldn’t stop kissing her, she didn’t want to.  She had given her desire free reign once more, and it had roared to life, leaving her feverish with want.

“Bed,” Delphine whispered into Cosima’s mouth.

“What?” Cosima murmured, blinking rapidly, managing to pull away from Delphine’s mouth just long enough to speak before Delphine was kissing her again, her hands seemingly everywhere at once.

“Your bed,” Delphine panted.  “Now,” she added.  “Or I’ll have you on the desk.”

Cosima shuddered in Delphine’s embrace, and moaned softly.

Unconsciously, Cosima reached out and clutched at one of Delphine’s hands.  She was sorely tempted to drag it between her legs where she was suddenly absolutely desperate for Delphine’s touch, but she controlled herself.  It had been too long since they had properly made love and as much as her body craved Delphine and would have happily acquiesced to being taken on her desk, Cosima still had some rational thought left and she knew that it would be better for them to come together again in a proper bed.

“Take me there now, or I’ll let you,” Cosima managed to breath out, and Delphine laughed lightly, before running her hands around behind Cosima and squeezing possessively at her ass.

“That’s not helping,” Cosima groaned as her hips helplessly rolled into Delphine’s body.

“Non, but it is fun,” Delphine purred.

Cosima grinned at her, and then she marshalled what little will power she had and made herself step back from Delphine.

“Come on,” Cosima said, reaching out to take Delphine’s hand, intent on leading her to the bedroom.

“With pleasure,” Delphine said, flashing Cosima a wicked smile before she reached out with her free hand to grope Cosima’s ass again.

“God,” Cosima moaned as they headed towards her bedroom.  Delphine’s randiness was turning her on more than she could say.  “I can’t wait to get your clothes off,” Cosima breathed out, her voice rough with desire.

Delphine released a throaty laugh as they crossed the threshold between the living room and the bedroom. 

She couldn’t have agreed more.

xxx

“Baby,” Cosima panted, more than a little breathless as she tangled her fingers in Delphine’s gorgeous hair.  “Stop,” she breathed out, “I can’t,” she sighed as Delphine’s lips continued to kiss their way up her inner thigh, towards her center, which was still faintly spasming from the last orgasm Delphine had driven her to.  “You are a mistress of lady parts,” Cosima declared with a lazy, happy smile.  “A captain of cunt,” she pronounced, giving Delphine her approval.  Though she was sure the blonde would never admit to it, Delphine had made love to her like a woman with something to prove.  And she had proved it, repeatedly.  “Come up here and kiss me.”

Delphine lingered between Cosima’s legs for another few moments, nuzzling the tan, soft skin of her inner-thigh, and then she leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on Cosima’s sex.  The soft touch made Cosima jerk and sigh, and Delphine grinned up at her devilishly before finally acquiescing to Cosima’s request and kissing her way up the brunette’s body until they were face to face.

“Captain of cunt?” Delphine murmured amusedly, smiling as she gazed down at Cosima.

Cosima blushed faintly as she rolled her eyes at Delphine, mildly, but only mildly embarrassed by her earlier words.

“Whatever,” Cosima breathed out.  “My brain is not exactly operating at maximum capacity at the moment,” she continued as she reached up to stroke Delphine’s cheek.

“Non?” Delphine questioned softly, her eyes sparkling as she gazed down at Cosima.

“Non,” Cosima replied, mimicking Delphine’s accent to the best of her ability, which drew a laugh from Delphine before she leaned down and brought their lips together.

“What has happened to it, to slow down its processing speed so much?” Delphine asked when she pulled back from Cosima’s lips, a delicious little smile tugging up the corners of her mouth.

“A Francophone smartass, with very talented fingers, a wicked mouth and utterly ignoble intentions,” Cosima replied happily, lifting her hand to Delphine’s face to trace her thumb wondrously over the blonde’s lips.

Delphine’s lips curved up as Cosima mapped them with her thumb, and a moment later she turned her head to nip at the exploring digit, drawing a surprised laugh from Cosima.

“You naughty girl,” Cosima drawled, reaching out to tap Delphine on the nose like she was a disobedient puppy.

“I must live up to my reputation,” Delphine smiled.  “Besides, I think you like my wicked ways,” she continued, shifting her position slightly so that her thigh pressed between Cosima’s legs.

A soft, wanting sigh, escaped from Cosima and her hips instinctively rolled into Delphine’s thigh.

“See?” Delphine breathed out as she dipped her head down and began to press a series of soft kisses to Cosima’s neck and jaw.  “You’re not done yet,” she purred, adjusting the angle of her thigh, the motion drawing a sharp intake of breath from Cosima.  “Shall I be bad?”

“You already are,” Cosima sighed.

It was late and she had class in the morning.  She knew that she really should try to get some sleep, but with Delphine’s body pressed against hers and the blonde’s lips trailing over her skin, it was hard to convince herself that unconsciousness was preferable to what was currently happening in her bed.

“I could be worse,” Delphine whispered, her voice full of sinful promise.

Cosima laughed softly.

“Yeah?” she asked, licking her lips when Delphine drew her face away from her neck to look down at her.

“Oh, yeah,” Delphine drawled as a cheeky smile pulled up the corners of her mouth.

“I find your assertion debateable,” Cosima whispered as her eyes roved over Delphine’s features.  “I think we should conduct an investigation to determine the validity of your claim,” she continued, the corners of her lips twitching a little, though she managed not to smile.

“I think that is very … logical,” Delphine replied, and at that Cosima couldn’t contain her smile any longer and her lips curved up.

Delphine smiled back at her, and then leaned down bringing their lips together again as her hands began to explore, intent on proving the veracity of her declaration beyond a shadow of a doubt.

 

The End


End file.
